How to quit smoking and drinking

Posted on 09 December 2009 10:02pm in Empowerment

It’s easy. I know because I have done it.

I used to smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish. I was an addict for more than fifteen years. Then one fine day I quit. No struggles, no therapies. I just quit.

Do you want to hear my story? I don’t think I will tell you because it’s long and complicated. But I will share the secret with you. It’s simple, effective and durable. So read on.

Why do people smoke?
OK, tell me, why do you smoke or drink in the first place? Is it to feel good? No, there are a thousand other ways to feel good. You wouldn’t want to engage in these damned habits to make you feel good. In fact, you don’t really feel good by blowing up your life in smoke and drowning in hell. So tell me the truth, why do you smoke or drink?

To look cool, to ‘belong’ in a certain group, to impress the opposite sex…. No, silly. Those were the reasons that got you started. You were an idiot then. But now you know better. You have grown up since then. So now why do you smoke or drink?

“Because I’m addicted!” I hear you shout. “My body wants it. I can’t help it.”

Oh, no. You don’t drink or smoke because you are addicted. You drink and smoke because you have nothing better to do. That’s it.

Yes, you have nothing better to do. If you had, then you’d be doing those ‘better’ things. You would be pursuing more wholesome desires and doing something more constructive with your life. You wouldn’t be sitting there sucking the life out of yourself.

So how can I quit?
You cannot quit by trying to quit. You have tried many times already, haven’t you? You have thrown your packet of cigarettes into the trash can and begun chewing gum. You have emptied a whole bottle of whisky down the drain and vowed never to drink again. Everyone has tried these tricks, but then you know what happens the very next day, or a couple of days later. Old habits die hard and little tricks don’t work.

What you need is something larger than the habit itself. Remember what Einstein has said: “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.”

You need to take a massive decision. You need to go for a compelling change. You need to create a quantum shift. What you need is a mission.

Yes, a mission. Not a mission to quit, but a mission for your life.

Remember what I said earlier – you’re following these dumb habits because you have nothing better to do. That is to say, you don’t have a mission for your life. You’re not following your passion and you’re not going for your dreams. You’re not living your life according to your true potential. That’s why these darn little habits are eating away your life just like termites eat wood and rust eats iron.

When you build a vision for your own life and go for your dreams, these pesky little habits crumble and dissipate own their own. They lose their power. They give up themselves at your mere decision to quit.

Here’s a line from my book Little Master that sums this idea so well:
“When you know your own greatness, petty things lose their sting.”

What can I do now?
You know what to do. First decide on your mission in life. Set goals for your future. Begin working towards those goals. Then you can talk about quitting.

“But I don’t know what my mission in life is. I don’t even know if I have any goals. How do I begin?”

Well, then, it looks like we have to begin from scratch.

First, sit down and have a good look at the wreck you have made out of yourself. Then look into the future. See yourself there. See yourself as the person you want to be. What kind of life do you want to live? What do you want to achieve? See yourself living that life, having achieved what you want to achieve. See yourself as a successful person who’s living the best life you can imagine.

Yes, see yourself in the future. Project yourself five or ten years into the future. You don’t see yourself smoking and drinking there, do you? Which means, in that future time, you have already quit these nagging habits. You are successful and happy there. You are using your talents and giving value to the world. You have found your mission in life.

There you are. What you just did was get a glimpse of the possibilities. You saw yourself as having quit the habit though at the moment you don’t have the slightest idea how you did it. You saw yourself as living a successful, mission-bound life even though you don’t yet know how that could be possible.

This is the beginning. See this vision every day. It won’t be long before new avenues begin to open up for you. You’ll begin to see possibilities where it seemed none existed before. You will feel a new surge of power within you.

Let the countdown begin.
Now you begin to realize who the boss here is. Certainly not that stupid roll of tobacco or that poor glass of vodka. They had taken the power over you because you had been weak, with no direction and mission in life. But now you know better. You are the boss. And your decision rules.

So, now is the time to act. Decide on a day when you will quit once and for all. I propose that you choose a special day, such as the New Year’s Day or your birthday. It’s going to be an important occasion – the beginning of a new life for you.

On that day you bid goodbye to your habit. You don’t smoke and you don’t drink any more. You have other more important things to do in life.

But then you may feel fidgety, quirky and shaky for a few days. That’s because your old habits have left a vacuum in you and you feel off balance. You have got to fill that vacuum with the seeds of your mission.

What is your mission again? What is it that you want to achieve in life? What do you want to be, do and have? Fill your days with the thoughts of your mission and work on your goals. Use every moment of your free time acquiring new knowledge and skills. Do the things that will fuel your passion and propel you towards your mission.

In other words, replace your dead habits with new and empowering ones.

That is the way it works.

You don’t quit major habits by using minor methods. You need to apply massive force. And what greater force can there be than the vision of your own life.

Have a vision for your life first, then you’ll see how easy it will be to quit. In fact, you won’t even have to quit; the habits that don’t serve your purpose will quit themselves.

I’ll leave you now with these two resounding quotes on vision:

"Where there is no vision, the people perish." -Proverbs 29:18
“We go where our vision is.” - Joseph Edward Murphy

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A test of multiple intelligences

Posted on 31 July 2009 04:49am in Education

You’ve heard of Multiple Intelligences, haven’t you? Harvard professor Howard Gardner came up with this theory way back in the early 80s. He said that we don’t have one intelligence; rather we have eight or more intelligences. Some of these intelligences are dominant in us and some are less prominent. For example, some of us may be highly competent at reading and writing tasks (linguistic intelligence) while others may be exceptionally good at science and numbers (logical-mathematical intelligence) and some others may be masterful at art and design (visual-spatial intelligence). The truth is, everyone’s intelligent in some way.

So what are the different intelligences? Here are the eight clearly identified ones:
Bodily-kinesthetic
Interpersonal
Verbal-linguistic
Logical-mathematical
Naturalistic
Intrapersonal
Visual-spatial
Musical

And it’s not very difficult to identify these intelligences. Here’s a quick little test:

Updating....


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Who reads Little Master?

Posted on 13 July 2009 10:49pm in Inspiration

When I first started writing Little Master, I never thought the book would appeal to readers of all ages. I was expecting that my readers would be mostly school-going kids, and possibly some conscientious teachers and parents. After all, it was going to be a story about a lost and lonely schoolboy who ‘escapes’ school and goes on a marvelous voyage of self-discovery. He uncovers the amazing secrets of learning and the wonderful secrets of life. It’s all about exploration, learning and discovery that perhaps only kids would be interested in.

That’s what I thought and I’m glad that I was wrong.

I find adults reading, enjoying and being enriched by this book just as much as the kids are. I meet college students who say their life took a new course after they read the book. I hear from teachers and parents almost every day how the book changed the way they look at children, how they see, treat and teach them. And of course the kids, they’re never the same after they’ve read the book. For they’ve now found a new meaning in life and a whole new purpose to learning.

So now when someone asks me who the book is for, I boldly say, “It’s for everyone” and I mean it. Because there really is something in Little Master for everyone, whether a learner, a teacher, a parent, a youngster or an adult.

Learners
No real learning can take place when you are caught in a whirlpool of tests, grades, degrees and certificates. That's not learning. That's madness. True learning explores your genius and inspires you to greatness. Little Master can be your guide.

Teachers
There are plenty of things for teachers. There is in fact a complete chapter dedicated to you - What a teacher! You shape the destiny of countless lives and you literally steer the course of the world. You carry in your hand a staff of greatness, a true magic wand. Don't ever let your magic wand turn into a cane of torture, a devil's weapon! You can let Little Master remind you, now and then, when you are unsure or tend to falter.

Parents
The greatest healers in the world - that's the chapter for parents. Why healers? Read it and you will know. You are healers when you know. Surely you have seen parents who are killers - they murder their children's greatness without the slightest compunction. That's what can happen when you don't know.

Youngsters
Hormones, society and so many other things can play havoc on your life when you are young and growing. You could easily lose direction, and you could even commit dreadful acts out of ignorance. But when you know your own greatness, petty things lose their sting. Reading Little Master can help, truly.

Adults
No matter how old you are, there's a kid in you, alive and kicking. Or has that kid already died? If he/she has, then revive him/her. An adult is no adult if they have no kid in them. Read Little Master and let the kid in you come alive one more time, full of wonder, amazement and questions - questions that you have either forgotten to ask or are too scared to ask. You get the answer only when you ask.

So there you see, Little Master a book for everyone. And it’s no wonder. Packed within its 108 pages is ageless wisdom and timeless inspiration told in the form of a fascinating tale that both young and old can enjoy. I even dare say, and hopefully without bias, that if you want to read just one book in your lifetime, make it Little Master. You’ll do yourself a lot of good.

Happy reading.

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What's the love of your heart?

Posted on 23 June 2009 10:16pm in Empowerment

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you. - T. Alan Armstrong

There are more than six and a half billion people in the world today and it amazes me to think that EVERY ONE of them is special and unique in some way. Everyone has some talent or ability or gift that is unique to them. That special gift, or the mark of genius as I would like to call it, resides in the depth our hearts. It is what gives us direction in life.

Some people recognize this gift in them and they make it their passport to greatness. Others never bother about it and, by their ignorance and negligence, they simply let the genius die. And let me tell you, it’s painful to watch genius die.

And it’s even more painful, excruciatingly painful, to know that countless geniuses die every day without ever knowing that they were geniuses. Without knowing that they were special, uniquely gifted individuals who could live fulfilling lives if they explored and expressed their core genius. Who could not only brighten their own life but also illuminate the whole world if only they recognized and manifested their unique talents and special abilities. If they simply followed their passion – the love of their hearts!

What about you? Are you following the love of your heart? Are you expressing all your special talents and abilities? Are you giving the world the special gifts that it expects from you?

Please do. Do the thing you love. Do what brings joy to your heart. Follow your passion. Answer your calling. Give the world the fruit of your genius. You just can't come down to this world, hang around a few years, and just leave from here. That's mighty discourteous. You've got to leave something behind, something of value. And what better thing to leave behind than the gift of your genius!

Yes, the gift of your genius. Which, again, is only possible if you follow the love of your heart. Whatever it may be. Whatever. From collecting rocks to designing rockets. It may even be hanging out talking with people. That's what people like Oprah and Ellen do. Or it may be computers, just like that of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. So, as I said, whatever. Whatever pumps your heart and makes you jump out of bed in the morning. Do that. Do it as passionately as Ms Winfrey or Mr Jobs do.

That's all it takes.

Now to end this post, I'd like to invite Steve Jobs, yes the same Mr Jobs, the whiz and boss of Apple Inc, to say something to you on this very topic. Perhaps Steve would like to share a few remarkable instances from his own life. Watch him speak in this YouTube video and let the message sink in.

All the best.


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I am God!

Posted on 15 June 2009 10:50pm in Transcendence

If you find the following post strange, then you’ve outsmarted me. My idea was to make it shocking!

Let me begin by telling you a story from my own life.

I was born into a devout Hindu family. I grew up listening to Vedic recitals, chanting the mantras and worshiping the gods (all the odd 330 million of them). I was barely thirteen when I began reading the Bhagavat Gita. By age fourteen, I was so completely immersed in it all that I gave up all material attachments and became an ascetic, walking around with a loincloth around my waist and sandalwood paste on my forehead.

Then, slowly but surely, disillusionment set in.

I saw no purpose in following some god whose job was to create creatures like us and play with our lives. I’m not going to be a puppet, I decided.

I was fifteen when I gave up asceticism, replaced the loincloth with jeans, and became a die-hard non-vegetarian, non-conformist and non-believer. At eighteen I was into marijuana, body piercing and other cool things.

A devout, God-fearing kid had grown up into a confused, angst-ridden, wayward, atheistic delinquent youth.

What went wrong along the way? What turned a dreamy adolescent into an ascetic, an addict and an atheist?

Nothing went wrong. It was all my choice.

I deliberately chose to go through all that I went through. Right from my birth. I chose my parents, my country of birth, the situations that I’ve been in, my trials, tribulations, frustrations, hopes, dreams, everything. I chose them all, for I wanted to savor the rich kaleidoscope of human experience. And I’m happy I did so.

The Bhagavat Gita that I read as an adolescent is in fact a book about myself. Lord Krishna who dispenses transcendental knowledge to the confused warrior Arjuna is none other than me. And Arjuna, too, is who else, but me. It’s fun to play these contrasting roles at the same time. Arjuna and Krishna, the muddled and the sublime, the victor and the vanquished, the sinner and the saint, war and peace, birth and death. Oh how I love to play these multiple roles! This variety is what keeps me lively and engaged. If not for this wealth of diversity, the whole idea of creation would be so mundane and outdated.

There is variety and flux because I choose it to be so. It’s all my choice.

Even at this moment, here on earth, it’s my choice whether I am happy or sad, whether I complain about what is not or be grateful for what is, whether I pursue my passion and go for my goals or I wallow in self-pity and drown like a mouse. Nobody else but I choose my own success and failure, I choose the way I live my life.

I choose, because I have life. I have life, because I am God.

Yes, I am God.

And so are you. Because we are one, inseparably one. We are one God with many faces.


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The tale of a firewalker

Posted on 08 June 2009 09:16am in Inspiration, Empowerment

Can anyone actually walk barefoot across a bed of red hot burning coals and not get hurt? Is it possible to take your shoes off and walk on a heap of broken beer bottles without getting a cut on your feet? Fakirs and monks from the east have been known to have achieved such feats, but how about mere mortals like you and me?

Well, I did both and lived to tell the tale and share the lessons I learned.


The first time I ever heard of firewalking was from Indra Gurung, an HR trainer and friend of mine. He had participated in one of Anthony Robbins’ firewalking seminars in Manila some years back and would often talk of his experience. I used to think to myself, don’t some people have anything better to do than walk on fire?

But then, a few days back I found myself staring at a 12-feet stretch of embers and flame, ready to take the steps. Do you think I was scared? Or was I enthusiastic and eagerly waiting for the countdown from my coach? Honestly, I was filled with Fear (yes, with a capital F), and how I wished I could just run away from the scene. But then there was no escape, with more than a hundred people cheering and prodding me from all directions. I did the 12 feet marathon and when I reached the other end there was a winning smile on my lips and not a tiniest burn on my feet.

Then I did something else. I walked over a pile of broken glass strewn on the floor, and I did it without so much as a scratch on my feet.


Tall tale? No. There was not a scar on the feet of any of the people who went through the experience. I was not an exception.

How did we do it? And why did we do it? Why would anyone in their senses ever want to walk barefoot on fire, or glass, or ice, or whatever for that matter?

Let me explain.

How is it possible?
Most promoters of fire and glass walk emphasize that you need to be in a special mental state or have an unwavering belief in order to prevent the hot coals from burning and the sharp glass edges from cutting your feet. Critics quickly point out that neither firewalk nor glasswalk has anything to do with the power of the mind, and it doesn’t really require any special mental state or ability; it all has to do with basic physics.

Going by the laws of physics, the reason you can walk on burning coals is that they are poor conductors of heat. It is the same reason why you can touch a cake baking inside an oven without being burned, but you can’t touch a metal plate inside the same oven.

Similarly, it is subtle pressure management when it comes to broken glass walk. A bed of glass is prepared with sufficient depth for the glass to be able to shift and settle as a foot is planted slowly and directly down upon it. This is somewhat similar to pressing a sharp knife with the flat of the blade against one's flesh, where considerable force may be used without injury.

A word of caution though, no matter how much physics or logic you apply, there are definitely serious risks involved in both fire and glass walks. So do not try any of them at home! To make matters clearer, swimming across a 12-feet deep pool is possible by all laws of physics, but you wouldn’t take the plunge unless you know how to swim or you have an experienced coach to guide you through the process.

Why would you do it?
In certain tribes such a practice is a part of the ritual that you can’t escape, and for the ascetics it may be a form of penance and surrender. As for Tony Robbins, Suresh Padmanavan (whose event we attended) and other life coaches, getting people to walk barefooted across a bed of red hot coals or a pile of broken glass is a way of driving home some valuable life lessons.

These people use fire or glass walk as a tool to demonstrate it to people how they can overcome their fears and limiting beliefs.

One of the most important sets of beliefs that we have are the beliefs about possibilities and impossibilities in life and these beliefs influence not only our choices, behavior and actions, but also the risks that we take and what we are willing to try. If we believe something is impossible for us, we wouldn’t even try it, would we? But once we start believing that something is actually possible, it opens up a whole new set of avenues and choices right in front of us.

The firewalk or glasswalk experience is a perfect example. People who have not seen or experienced any of them find it difficult to believe that anyone could actually walk on hot coals or broken glass without getting hurt. It seems to go against common sense and their previous experiences with hot coals or broken glass. But when they do the walk, the old belief comes crashing down, and there is a major shift in paradigm.

That’s what exactly happened with me.

PS: This article was written almost two years ago right after the event.

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