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What to do when someone calls you ugly and stupid

Posted on 03 June 2009 02:36am in Empowerment

I have been called ugly, stupid, dunce, failure, thief, everything. Not now of course, but in the past.

Do you think I am any of those? Not by any chance. I am a wise and handsome author and educator who’s into giving, rather than thieving. And I am not a failure; I am a success by any definition.

What about the people who called me those names?

Well, I don’t even bother about them because I secretly know that they were calling those names to themselves.

How’s that?

Look, it’s simple. If they were beautiful people, they wouldn’t call me ugly. Those who have beauty in them also have the vision to see the beauty in others. And if they were wise people, they wouldn’t call me stupid. Those that are truly wise have the wisdom to see the greatness in others.

I never paid attention to what they said. I knew I wasn't any of the things they said about me. So whatever they said went back to them.

Indeed, what we see in others is really what we are. It is our own reflection that we see around us – good, bad, ugly, beautiful, success, failure, everything.

In the story of Little Master, the little boy learns this lesson from the stars. He and his friends were looking at the stars when…. Well, let me give you the extract from the book itself:

Suddenly, the sky looked unusually bright. There was a flurry of flashes and blinks all over the sky. It seemed the stars were in celebration of some kind.

Then the boys and girls heard whispers and giggles up in the sky. "We are beautiful! They think we are beautiful!" It was the stars whispering among themselves.

Then a bright old star in the northern sky blinked merrily at the boys and girls as if it was trying to get their attention. When they looked at it, it simply said: "Thank you for making us beautiful." The other stars immediately broke into a beautiful chorus. "Thank you for making us beautiful!" they sang.

The little boy was thunderstruck, and so were his friends.

"We... how do we... make you beautiful?" the little boy asked in great surprise and disbelief. "You are stars and we're just human, young and little."

The stars continued to sing. "You are made of the same stuff that we are made of. Yet you are more than the stars. It is you who make us twinkle."

"Wow!" exclaimed the boys and girls in unison. "How do we do that?"

The wise old star of the north winked heartily at them and said:

"We are stars because you call us so. We twinkle because you look at us. We dance with joy for you think we are beautiful. If it weren't for you, we'd just be balls of hot swirling gases."

The old star then joined its billions of little friends in the merrymaking. They were all frisking and frolicking and turning the sky into a heaven of lights.

The little boy and his friends continued to look at the marvelous night sky for some more time. Now they had a new reason to look there: to make the stars beautiful, to get them to twinkle. They even made new stars appear in different parts of the sky.


Imagine making the stars beautiful!

But it could be true. It could be true that the beauty we see around us (including that of the stars) is really our own beauty reflected back to us. It could be true that how we see other people is really how we are. It could be true that when we call someone ugly or stupid, we are really calling that to ourselves.

So the next time you are tempted to point a finger at somebody, remember that you might be doing that to yourself. The rubbish you want to hurl at someone might land on your own nose.

But what, now I hear you scream, but what if it is the others who are calling me the names and throwing the garbage at me? It’s they who think I am ugly and stupid. I am the victim here!

Well, in that case, you have a choice: Believe what those people say to you and dutifully play the role of a victim. Or do what I did – DON’T GIVE THEM A DAMN! Let them call you a thousand names, point a million fingers at you and scream their hearts out. You hold your head high, put a smile on your lips, pray for those poor souls and walk your way. For you know the truth.

little master book by uday sharmaA fantastic tale to delight your heart and ignite your soul

life skills book by uday sharmaLife skills for young people

a million dollar teacher by uday sharmaAn unconventional guide to exceptional teaching


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Reader Comments


  • Kreeti Kreeti from Nepal
    on 28 Aug 2009 09:26 am said:
    That is very true... I know what it feels like being called 'ugly and stupid'. But as you learn to accept yourself and love yourself you start being sure about yourself and then you surely don't bother what people call you... After all there are millions of people and thus millions of opinions... If we start bothering about the what every one among the million says then I guess someday we start losing our sanity...

    Only a person with beautiful eyes can see the world as beautiful... Pity the ones who call you ugly and stupid coz they don't really have beautiful eyes to see the beauty in you.
  • Carl Harris Carl Harris from Nottingham UK
    on 04 Jul 2010 12:54 am said:
    Can't tell you how timely reading this post was for me - at the moment I am helpless to help a close relative I have not seen for years who turned up out of the blue last night and their first sentence was a put-down insult; they promptly got up and left. I suspect they have become mentally ill. For years I warned them their behaviour could cause this to happen and last night they made it obvious they blame me - it's only too easy to take on the burden of the whole thing.

    I see them as full of potential - they regard me as the cause of all their problems.
  • Uday Uday
    on 20 Jul 2010 12:21 am said:
    @Kreeti "If we start bothering about the what every one among the million says then I guess someday we start losing our sanity." This is like a profound quote, Kreeti. Keep alive your great thoughts!

    @Carl It hurts deeper when someone close stabs. But the truth gives you the strength to face it, and to move on. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
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